Domme Dose thanks the lovely Madame Lisa for sending us this Domme piece to post which is really excellent! be sure to click Her links at the end of the piece.
What FinDom is NOT:
FinDom is not spending money on a FinDomme and expecting something in return.
FinDom is not buying cam time so you can jerk off.
FinDom is not buying fetish clips to jerk off to.
FinDom is not a bartering system.
FinDom is not a tit-for-tat scenario. I’ll give you this, if you give me that.
What FinDom IS:
FinDom is dedicating your money, mind and manhood to an educated Financial Domme who wants a slave who is willing and ABLE to do Her bidding.
FinDom is purchasing whatever you are told to, when you are told to by your FinDomme.
FinDom is sending gifts and tributes WITHOUT even being asked. A true submissive never has to be asked.
FinDom is disclosing honestly your income and expenses so that they can be better controlled and spent by your FinDomme.
FinDom is deriving deep satisfaction from being of financial use to your FinDomme.
FinDom is going to work every day to make money for your FinDomme to use as She pleases.
FinDom is taking care of your own financial needs so that the rest is available for your FinDomme to use as She wishes.
FinDom is give and take. You give, your FinDomme takes.
FinDom is a way of surrendering and submitting without whips and chains in a dungeon.
Money is so deeply routed in our psyches, especially that of men. Most men are measured by how financially sound they are. Most men only have their money going for them. Being Financially Dominated is a very deep and intense form of submission given how money effects us psychologically.
This is fantastic. I think there are a few things I might add to both sides of the list but really it’s just perfect. So simple, perfect for those stupid losers really in need of an easy to digest lesson! I have a slave in mind I will direct to this today, even.
Where is the *LIKE* button for this!
Besides accepting money and gifts what does a FinDomme do? Can any woman be turned into a FinDomme?
Personally i think being a FinDomme is much harder than what any “”session” Domme does as it is all mental. Not many Dommes can control a slave and make them worship and pay them as FinDommes do. So i would definitely reply no to this.
LOVE!
i think this is an excellent list of what FinDom should be from the perspective of the dominated male. i would be interested to read comments from any of the FinDommes here on what They think FinDom is from Their perspective.
i don’t think that just any woman or even any Domme can be a successful FinDomme, but i wonder if the Dommes here agree and, if they do, what do they think it takes to be a successful FinDomme?
Um, I wrote this and I am a FinDomme…
i agree with a lot of this but my only question is doesn’t a neglected slave become a bored slave? i mean i have seen this so many times. A slave tributes and does what is told of him but then it seems some dommes then only “talk” to them on tribute day then nothing til next tribute day. i dunno i have heard and exp that before. Sorry not looking fot tit for tat as the article says but a slave does need something out of the exp. Oh well doesnt matter, just a thought.
Excellent point.
i am not trying to start shit with anyone but i hear that sooooooooooo many times for subs. Now i am not saying a domme has to give tons of attention but something has to be given to keep a slaves interest. i am going to be brutally honest and i am sure it will start a shit storm, but if i wanted a woman that just took my money and i got nothing in return, i would get married.
lol, that is a bit of what i was getting at with my question of what do Dommes think FinDom means from Their perspective. What do They do that makes FinDom successful for Them. A 100% ignore strategy doesn’t sound like a winner to me.
Thank you. No a 100% ignore is not a winner. period. Sorry but if a domme/sub relationship means giving money and getting nothing in return, then that doesnt sound like fun. Last time i checked and have been told by many. fetish is fun. There is good points in the artilce but i can’t agree 100% with it.
If we are talking pure 100% financial domination, and not adding in any other fetishes, then much contact might not be needed, because the sub would be satisfied in giving him money to a deserving Domme, and the Domme would be satisfied with receiving the money. Now I am not saying this is what it should always be like, but it certainly works for some.
And in My opinion what the Domme wants should come 1st, a Domme should never be expected to pay attention to a sub when she doesn’t want to just because he does. I see boys far to often deciding that a Domme not behaving the way he wants or expects means that she is not a good Domme, instead of coming to the more sane, less elf centered conclusion which is that they are simply not compatible and have a different idea of what Domination should entail, but I digress.
No a 100% ignore strategy isn’t always effective, but despite what Don says, its not always bad either, I have had more than one sub that expected nothing in return for the pleasure of being able to tribute me.
Jesus don, I normally like you but that is quite a bit of a sexist comment right there. Seriously, all wives just sit on their asses and do nothing but take your money? the fuck? Its cool if you don’t want to get married and I understand that there are a lot of fucked up unhealthy relationships talked about in this little corner of the internet, but that doesn’t mean all marriages are like that, and it sure is fuck isn’t always the woman’s fault.
Didnt say it was all womens fault but in my exp in real life thats what i observed. My opinion nothing more.
Well said.
As for a neglected slave, we all know most slaves are attention whores. And this is exactly why a slave should have no expectations from his Mistress.
All slaves are attention whores. Rolls eyes. Yes there are some that are but lets not lump all subs into this category. So basically what this article says is that a sub should just pay money and get nothing in return. No talk,no clips, nothing period but the simple “joy” of serving. And here is what the domme world has turned into. Yeah, that doesnt sound like a fun domme/sub relationship to me. In fact anyone that subcribes to that theory is in for a dissapointment. Thats why slaves move on. No one wants a relationship where the communacation is nothing moe than a pay me email then nothing for couple of weeks. So how is a slave supposed to be hooked? Many dommes refer to a sub as a pet. Doesn’t pets need attention too? i mean a real life pet(dog/cat) doesnt get attention from someone they move on to the next. Then a domme scrathes their head wondering why a slave “ran off”. Really the only slaves that get any attention is the big players that slut around and can “buy” their way out of any trouble. But hey thats ok. See it everyday. Yeah sorry, have issues with this piece. Makes some good points but basically says just send money and thats it. Sad
Hold on a sec, guys. What’s with the comments advocating the notion that the financial domme’s responsibility to her “slave” is more than taking his money? When did the financial domme start having to shoulder the burden of ensuring her slave is adequately entertained by and pleased with her services? And when did the slave become entitled to compensation beyond however many degrees his cock twitched when he transferred money to the financial domme?
Not that I care about the plight of the financial domme or sub. What grinds my gears is the unfairness and hypocrisy going on here. Specifically in how JD’s been treated by you fellows.
You guys raked JD over the coals because he had a thing for legs and cheerleaders and expected a good financial domme to indulge those interests if he was giving her his money. He was accused of being arrogant, a bad slave and topping from the bottom. And dommes who catered to his fetishes were called fakes.
But now, now there’s a shift in opinion? Now a sub isn’t topping from the bottom if he expects full value for his dollar? Now the financial domme who works to keep her sub amused for whatever he throws her way is a true FD?
I hope y’all be writing letters of apology to JD.
jd still bashes me daily and had some choice words for you also in a recent blog. he just went nuts because his Domme gave him the name “sargentsissy” and he started screaming it wasn’t him when it so is. he is hiding more in the closet than any person i ever knew!
Like he even cares. Like i said why bother. He just wants to cause trouble.
Nobody here said that a Domme is obligated to do anything as part of a FinDomme relationship. There is a view among some of us who have commented that if a Domme chooses to do absolutely nothing, She will probably not be very successful at developing anything but very short term cash grabs. A sub completely ignored will very likely lose interest and move on to someone else.
i think people get too hung up on the idea that the FinDomme must do something specific in Her role. i don’t see it that way at all but i do think that those who provide some interaction will be more successful at keeping the sub hooked on the relationship. That interaction can take any number of forms and be whatever the FinDomme chooses. i know that my contract with Bratty Bunny specifically says that She has absolutely no obligations or requirements, that all contract responsibilities fall on me. However, being as skilled and clever as She is, Goddess Bunny does just enoungh to constantly remind me of our roles, that She is aware of what i am doing, and letting others know the extent of Her control. The feedback i get from Her, what she chooses to provide even though it is not required, is what makes me want to do more and more.
So just to be clear, when a sub enters into a FinDomme relationship, there are no requirements on the Domme – the money, the gifts, the tributes aren’t payment for anything. But a skilled FinDomme will be able to discern a sub’s weaknesses and use them, through a tease, an acknowledgment, a humiliation, whatever it takes, to keep the sub hungry to do more. This goes back to my initial comment in this thread and my hope was that some of the FinDommes here would talk about methods They use to keep the financially dominated submissive coming back for more.
Now i don’t know jd but what you described – paying money to a Domme to indulge an interest in legs and cheerleaders is not Financial Domination. That’s paying money in exchange for the other person to do something specific and what you need is someone willing to roleplay along for the money. That person may also engage in Financial Domination but they are not in FinDomme mode when they play at being a cheerleader.
Exactly.
Hey SOM.
I guess I’ll start by saying thank you for your reply. As you can see from some of the comments here, lesser posters find it easier to dismiss me and cower when they walk into my imposing wall of truth and logic. So your civil and intelligent reply is very much appreciated. Now, then…
“Nobody here said that a Domme is obligated to do anything as part of a FinDomme relationship.”
Respectfully disagree. Lisa stated quite clearly what she believes FinDom is and is not while Donald opined the following:
“So basically what this article says is that a sub should just pay money and get nothing in return. No talk,no clips, nothing period but the simple “joy” of serving… Yeah sorry, have issues with this piece. Makes some good points but basically says just send money and thats it. Sad”
Doesn’t that sound like it’s implying obligation to you? Of course it does. According to that opinion, there is no relationship (or if there is, it’s doomed) unless the sub gets something he values in return for his money.
But that’s not what I take umbrage with. And I’m definitely not gonna argue against the idea that the financial domme who, like your Bunny, “gives back” to her sub would be x3 times more successful than the financial domme who doesn’t, because, well, c’mon (even though there are dudes out there who are into the whole catatonic domme thing, like that Anon who posted).
My problem is that JD was treated very poorly because he believed that a happy and rewarding financial domination relationship involved getting something back from the domme. Any comment he’d make on the topic of financial domination was shouted down by Donald who would insist that the “joy of serving” is its own reward. And suddenly that’s not the case anymore? It’s unfair, and for as nuts as JD is and for as much as he hates me, I still don’t like seeing people treated like that.
Now you suggested that indulging an interest in legs and cheerleaders is more roleplay than findom. To that I hafta reply: it’s all roleplay, friend.
Is there a difference between the domme who says “cheer practice was fun” and the domme who says “my feet are ripe; I was out all day spending your money” even though she woke up at 4:30pm and spent the evening on her couch wearing a pizza sauce stained bathrobe watching a Diners, Drive-ins and Dives marathon because she was too lazy to reach for the remote on her coffee table?
And if you can demonstrate a difference, is the gap between the two so great that it warranted harassment to the degree JD had to bear on a regular basis?
This coming from a person that has said so many hurtful things to others in the past. Yeah ok. Jd got all he deserved. he thought that outside of his fetish, all others were wrong and sicking. Even attacked bruce every chance he got. So yeah dont feel for sorry for the nut. He got what he deserved. So hey whatever. Really dont put to much weight in what you say.
i think what this topic boils down to is there are 2 kinds of slaves in this fetish. One is the “genuine” loser who wants to submit to one Domme, become completely addicted and weak for Her, and have his whole purpose in life to please Her. The other is the fetishist who actually “gets off” sending tributes to Dommes. my opinion is most of these types have huge bankrolls thus are able to always get attention from a Domme anytime they want. Even though when they want to indulge their fetish, ANY Domme will do. They are all sluts. See wayne, cumdump, frenchy, etc.
They will worship the Domme who is giving them attention when they are horny and want it. These fetishists may be good for the Domme financially, but do dilute the “true” moneyslavery scene, and ruin it for those who really want to worship and serve one Domme. Obviously $$$ is important, but Dommes should understand what type of slaves they have, and NEVER not give attention for an extended period to those that fall in the first category. Because those types are forever, while the big spending sluts will always keep moving on. Anon’s comment about how he wants no attention just wants to pay is a perfect example of this second type. Dommes IMO should always drain the second type but appreciate the first type more, and if they do not have time to give them the training and attention they need, be honest and tell them that right away, before they get hooked then hurt later on when the Domme has no time for them and leaves the addicted loser in a state of flux.
Great piece and great comments!!!
Jd was a religious nut that got all he desevred. Good riddance to bad trash. He can spew his bullshit on his own blog.
Why the fuck does that creep have to come up in every goddamn Findom conversation. Frankly Im offended his name is soiling my article!
In reply to wr’s comment, you make some excellent points. OH god how the big money sluts have taken over the scene. Hell we could be here all night giving examples. Just insane how much they drop without thinking twice. i mean damn. Seems so surreal. Hey we have talked about many times and this where the root of the problems start. They are the ones that have changed the scene dramaticlly. My opinion for the worst. But i am sure others will disagree. Honestly we can talk abou that til we are blue in the face and nothing will change. As long as the big money players pop up. Nothing will change. Oh hey, you forgot the part how they can “buy” their way out of trouble. Now there is a pet peeves if there was ever one.
“FinDom is purchasing whatever you are told to, when you are told to by your FinDomme.
FinDom is sending gifts and tributes WITHOUT even being asked. A true submissive never has to be asked.”
To me, there is an inconsistency in those two points. However, depending on the sub or the Domme, both are true. I think there are Dommes that only feel comfortable if they are extorting money from a sub, or actively draining him. While others enjoy consistent funds and presents without any real effort. Likewise, the are subs that only want to be “made” to drain, and others that like to give for the pleasure of having made Mistress happy. If a Domme wants to both extort and expect payments of love, she better find guys that have some serious cash because they’ll be burning the candle at both ends.
nice!
Financial Domination is not paying someone to fulfill a service based around your particular fetish. Has it been so long since real FinDom existed that we have forgotten this???
BAck in the day I made more money withOUT doing clips/cam/calls. I would charge $50 a picture of my FACE, not my ass, not my feet, if you got any pictures at all.
Of course, as a woman, I know how to manipulate men, men never let you forget the power you have over them, its not hard, and duh, Im going to use that in my favour. IF youre into feet, Im sure as hell going to use my feet to get more money out of you.
BUT
REAL FinDom is about a male having a fetish for giving his money to a woman, no? And TRUE SUBMISSION is SERVING your Domme with NO expectation of something in return.
Back in the day, there were real Finsubs who were into spending money for the thrill of it, the power exchange. Not PAYING for some kind of service.
Nothing beats the excitement of tributing a domme and being ignored by her.
And as long as there are guys who feel the same way I do, and I’m sure there are plenty, then the dommes who realise this and allow it to be possible will receive tributes.
I totally love the idea that a domme doesn’t even care who I am and that my tribute is just one of many in her day. During periods of chastity the emotional pain and humiliation of tributing after a days work can feel better than anything I’ve experienced.
I have to take it in small bursts for obvious reasons but the rush and the shame are amazing and each time gets more addictive and goes further. My feeling is: You deserve to reduce me, and my bank account, to zero!
Wish there were more like you! Any boys like this looking for an experienced FinDomme Goddess, get in touch with me!
The comments on here from some people here just makes me rolls my eyes. Sad
hehehe i love it.my saved and owned life is so simple.Suffer,sacrifice,and most important .Obey and Surrender Unconditionally my body,mind and soul to Goddess Kyaa to be used by Her as She sees fit ! Period.
I pretty much agree 100% with footboidon. A neglected or ignored slave will almost always become a bored slave. I recently ended a “relationship” with a “Financial Domme” because I became frustrated with being constantly ignored by her and irritated when she finally did contact me expecting me to pay her cell phone bill as a way of showing that I was “devoted” to her. I am not rich and work to hard for my money to hand it over to someone (no matter how beautiful she is) that was no longer providing any type of happiness/enjoyment/excitement in my life. Some Domme’s may call that “selfish”, I see it as reality. I would much rather take that money and spend it on a real time session with a Pro Domme where I would actually enjoy myself.
Financial Domination is definitely a big fetish for some. I would imagine those subs who are really into it know what to expect and are better prepared to handle the possibility of being nothing more than a cash cow for their Domme than I was.
Thank You. Hits the nail on the head.
See, this is where I get lost. I don’t understand why some boys place the survival of the relationship solely in the domme’s hands. What did you do to create an exciting and enjoyable experience? Truth is, even if you feel “ignored”, a domme cannot ignore effort.
Did you tribute in her absence? There are plenty of ways to express your feelings about servitude apart from YIM. Did you utilize any of them? The domme “provides” the opportunity to serve. Take it or leave it.
This is findom. “Ignoring you with full knowledge of how devoted you are to me., rarely rewarding you and hardly spending a moment of my time to acknowledge your exixtence. But slaves can be greedy & needy. A trait that I find to be completely out of line. A boy like that needs to be disciplined. Let it be known that I am not here to cater to your needs, little one. You are here to cater to mine.” Princess Cheri Nov 2008
I’m on the fence with this one. Although I definitely love the back and forth of how a slave should act. When it boils down to it though, I’d personally prefer the constant tribute and servitude, complete devotion vs. a one time slut who pays a huge amount of money at one time.